Mean Mode

Friday, 19 December…

Insenstive lovers put you in a world of heartache and pain. Dumb lovers are plain annoying. My sweetheart, J, has these two traits. Insenstive and dumb in one breath. J could be stabbing you in the face and when you scream, J would ask, “what’s wrong? Am I hurting you? How am I hurting you?” That kind of insenstive. I was with J yesterday. After all those heady and heated kisses and all that goes with it, J couldn’t call me to make sure I didn’t die on my way home. Okay, I told J I would call when I got home. Well, I called.

Today, J waited till it was past 1200hrs to call me. I had to call back because I missed the call. After saying stuff (nothing lovey-dovey), I told J I was hanging up. All J said was, “okay, bye.”

Just “okay, bye”.

J was just being mean. Like, mean mode activated. Would it kill J to sound sweet? I don’t know anymore. Now, I am asking myself if I want too much. I want someone sweet and loyal and smart. Someone who would always be there. Trust me, I don’t want a dog. (Sweet, loyal and smart are dog traits). I am a woman and that logically means I am illogical. I have illogical expectations in a partner.

I love J. J loves me back. Maybe. I have my doubts. A woman is carried away by what she hears. A woman NEEDS to hear you say you love her. Even if you catch a grenade for her, she NEEDS you to say, “I love you, Suliat.” (I have a thingy for muslim names.) Bruno Mars got it wrong. He was ready to catch a grenade for her but he said nothing. Bruno, don’t buy me flowers- I am not a goat. Don’t give me your hours. Just say you love me.

If you want to keep a woman entertained, you should be a good conversationalist. You should know how to make her laugh. Women love men that know how to talk. When I say talk I don’t mean annoying jibber-jabber about yourself. Like how you were stuck in traffic and your car got a dent. Or how work is going. Boh-ring! A woman is not interested in all that gist. Tell her something funny. Make sure she laughs hard like buhahahahahahahahahaha. Not just “haha”. If a woman can fake an orgasm, she can also fake a laugh.

My point is this: if you love a woman, ALWAYS tell her how you feel. It’s never too much. Be sensitive and funny and smart and sophisticated and have a little money.

I have asked J to be “sweeter”. J is still the same unsweet lover. It’s not okay. So, I am just going to a dark corner to cry and lick my teardrops. J can’t be perfect. I will just focus on the good. In life, when you focus on the good, the bad won’t affect you as much as it would have if you just dwelt on the negative aspect of life.