LESBIAN · SARCASM · SATIRE · SUNDAY

THE “SUNDAY SISTER” WHO DECRIED AND DENIED TASTING THE “SWEET SAPPHIC SAP”

Sunday Sister…
August 30, 2015

And this article centre’s on a “Sunday Sister”.

My friends tell me stuff, personal stuff, because they know I won’t judge them and I keep secrets. I understand we’re humans with primal, animalistic proclivities. I feel people should indulge in whatever they want with the condition that it doesn’t affect anyone negatively.

A friend of mine, Ogini (not her real name, of course) was gisting me about a Sunday Sister she knows. She told me that she and the Sister were just buddies at first but the friendship spiralled out of control. She narrates:

“This babe and I were friends. I don’t even know if I should refer to her as my friend. This girl can lie for Africa! One thing led to the other and we had to share a room for a while. Before this, I knew that this babe loves Jesus. Like… when you say someone lives and breathes Jesus. Her church organises weekday church service. And she doesn’t even miss it one bit. She had invited me to her church on few occasions but, you know I don’t dig religion things.

“It happened one night like that and we made out. I was surprised that we made out. Like, I didn’t think she was drawn to me in the first place. I can’t even remember who made the first move. All I remember is that we were in this kissy state. We didn’t stop there. Use your imagination.

“After that night, I just felt that she was curious. We talked about it. She told me that she’d made out with two chics before me and in my mind I was like, ‘Seriously?’ But then, most chics have experimented. Moreover, it’s so easy to get drawn to another girl. You know, women are just too mushy-mushy like that. In fact, I thought she wasn’t going to want to make out with me again.

“I thought wrong. The next time was crazier than the first. And that was how we found ourselves doing it whenever. But, there was no loving. We’re both selfish people. She said she had a boyfriend. All these chics say they have boyfriends yet they be doing chics. But it’s none of my business.

“One day, we went to chill with one guy. A mutual friend. The gay issue came up. I told him that people’s bedroom activities wasn’t anyone’s business. I was like people should be open to try new things. I asked him, “how do you know you’re straight? How can you prove you’re not gay when you’ve not tried it?” The guy knew I was teasing him.

“My friend, the babe was like, ‘why do people even do that, sef?’

“I was shocked, ehn! I almost choked  on my food. She went on and on to condemn everything gay and lesbian. I wanted to slap her and tell the dude that we actually have things going on. But, I just sat there listening to her talk and talk and yap away. She strongly detested being gay. I didn’t say anything.

“The next day, she went for weekday service. Later in the week, this babe made moves on me. I just couldn’t. I was so disgusted. This babe just condemned something she loved doing before my very eyes. Yes. She loved every second of it. I didn’t call her out on it. I never told her anything. This is something I’ll never forget.”

I just listened in rapt attention while she vented her grouse with the said girl. Ogini is a collected, calm and level-headed person, who doesn’t raise her voice. When she’s angry, everyone feels her wrath. She was miffed while narrating her experience to me. I heard the tremor in her voice.

Ogini was angry because the girl in her story was a two-faced liar. She enjoyed many kiss-fests and rolled in the hay with another girl. Yet, she had the effrontery to repudiate being gay like she had never tasted the “Sweet Sapphic Sap”. I still don’t understand the reason the girl vehemently condemned an act she was/is involved in. I try to rationalise it but I can’t. In my opinion, it would have been better she didn’t say anything than besmirching being gay with so much venom. From what my friend said, the girl in the story brought out bible verses to support her claims that being gay was a serious, grevious sin.

I don’t understand hypocrites! I don’t understand people being sanctimonious. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that people are specious. The thing is this, it’s alright if people want to come out as devout adherents of their religion. What irks me is that these people forget they are human beings. They forget they can err. They just judge and condemn people that openly sin the sins that they, the condemners, secretly sin. When I think about it, it’s like secret service. I don’t care who they’re servicing.

I find it sad when people keep up appearance in order to conform to society. If I were Ogini, I might have asked the Sister, “When people lie to people, do they remember that they can’t lie to God?” I would have loved to hear the next thing she’d say. If she wasn’t careful, I’d have just told the dude, “FYI, we do it. You can come and watch next time we’re at it.”

My point is this, we should stop condemning and denigrating bad deeds only for us to do it in the privacy of our bedrooms. If you fool anyone, you can’t fool God. There is this song from way back:

“You cannot hide it from God. You may cover your sins and think nobody knows. You cannot hide it from God.”

What I tell anyone that cares to listen is this: “God is a spirit and those who worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.” John 4:24.

It’s all in your heart. Spirituality before religiosity. I remind people that religion is what society teaches you about God. Spirituality is what you discover about God.

In summary, condemning a sin in open even when you secretly indulge in it won’t make you not rot in hell when you die. That is IF your religion preaches there’s hell for sinners.

HAPPY SUNDAY!

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2 thoughts on “THE “SUNDAY SISTER” WHO DECRIED AND DENIED TASTING THE “SWEET SAPPHIC SAP”

  1. Haha nailed it. A ‘SU’ sister once asked me out, I was shocked, although I did like her I never did or even consider doing anything with her, I can’t ever have anything with ladies like that again. I endured 2years with a lover that made me feel terrible because we were in love. I can’t ever put myself in such situation again. Sadly, there are many ladies like that sunday sister and they will blame it on the society when they can just shut the hell up

  2. I love everything you just wrote. It’s like my story. Most times due to where we are,we are very shamed to come out straight to face reality. However,thanks for finding a blog like this.

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