LITERATURE · MUSING

Phoenix

They’ll see my bright smile
It might even be brighter than the sun.
They’ll see the gold and silver
It might be diamonds- I dare to wish.
They’ll see and taste the good food
It might taste like ambrosia
They’ll hear the fine music
It might be compared to Heaven’s choir

But I’ll tell you what they won’t see

They won’t see those night that stretched on forever
Those nights I placed dark thoughts on my laps and toyed with them.
Those nights Suicide and I did a slow waltz
I couldn’t count how many times I stepped on her toes to get her to stop dancing.

They won’t know of my affair with Depression
Those nights she barged in and clung to me
They won’t see the bed I shared with her
Who said kisses aren’t deadly?

Would they know of the days I cried silent tears in the darkness?
Would they know of the days I walked long distances?
Would they know of the days I sat waiting for people that would never show up?
Would they know of the days I had nothing?

Would they know of the offers Hubris refused me to accept?
Would they know of the times I twisted in the chasm because I wouldn’t choose the devil or the ocean?
Would they know Life my heart was broken and shattered into smithereens?
Would they know of the fire this gold had to walk through?

No. They wouldn’t.
They’d say, “she doesn’t deserve this.”
“She slept her way through.”
“There was a man. She couldn’t have done it without him.”

But then, what they’d say wouldn’t take away the truth
I fell, I bruised
I was burnt turned into ashes
But, In the end, just like a phoenix, I rose from the ashes.

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