Beefing God. Just Kidding! Actually, Story Time with Cisi


Photo Credit:

I love puns and allusions! How they colour a story while being effective in passing your message to your audience!

Once upon a time lived three brothers; Ike, Ade, and Audu.

Ike was the oldest and Audu, the youngest. The three lived in a big hut in harmony and love.

One day, Ike decided to embark on a trip to the neighbouring town. Before setting out, he called his brothers to him and said, “Brothers, I’m travelling to the next town. I don’t know when I will be back. I need you two to hold the fort and be careful.”

His brothers felt sorrow tug at their heart strings as they weren’t used to being apart for days at a stretch.

Digging into his rucksack, he brought out two bags filled with cowries. The first, he dropped on the stool, “This is for your upkeep. With this money, you can buy whatever you desire. Try not to waste it.”

Their eyes gleamed like four fiery balls! Never had they had so much money at their disposal.

The other bag of cowries, he handed to Ade, “This money, I want you to hold on to. Do not spend it. Don’t touch it. Just keep it. If you spend it or touch it, we’ll cease to be brothers.”

Ade laughed uncontrollably. When his laughter subsided, he assured his brother, “I’ll never betray you and you know it.”

Amidst hugs and sighs, they said their goodbyes. Standing under the shade of the mango tree in their compound, they watched Ike walk away until he became a tiny dot in the distance.

Three long days went by with each second seeming like a decde. Ade and Audu went on with their lives, by doing more chores in the farm, in a bid to escape the sadness that threatened to snatch up on them should they spend a moment to ruminate on the idea of their beloved brother being away from them. How long would he be gone? They didn’t even dare to let that thought dance in their minds.

Two days went by and melancholy still hovered over the house like a foul stench. You know what happens when you are bored? I’ll remind you.

As opposed to what the poets have said about walls, they talk! When you’re bored, you stare at the walls of the room for too long. In the stillness of your mind, you begin to have thoughts that you thought you thought. But, no. The walls sent those thoughts to your mind. Isn’t it strange that a rational human could have an irrational thought? How does sanity beget insanity? Blame it on the wall!

Audu was bored and the walls spoke and he listened.

“I’m bored,” Audu sat beside his brother who was setting the firewood to make breakfast.

“If you join me to make breakfast you’ll feel better,” Ade retorted.

That didn’t chase the idea that had crystallised in Audu’s mind, “we never go out much. I want us to go out.”

“We shouldn’t. We have everything here,” Ade straightened up to his full height and took in the expanse of land before him. “Our farm is here. All we have to do is work here.”

“Only Ike goes out to sell our produce in the neighbouring village. Why can’t we do business, too?”

Firmly, Ade told his brother, “No.”

“That other money that he asked you not to touch, don’t you think we could invest it?”

In horror, Ade shrieked at Audu, “What?”

“It won’t be wrong. The money is just being tied up here at home and we can invest it in a good venture.”

Ade stared in bewilderment as his younger brother yap away about an elaborate business plan. With each word that fell from his brother’s mouth and landed on the ground between them, Ade was seeing sense in what his brother was saying. What was the big deal in investing the money on something before his brother returned home? It would be a win-win situation. They’d get to travel and make more money. He’d give Ike the money. Ike might not even know the money had been invested in the first place.

“I have heard,” he beamed as he nodded at his brother.

“Yes!” Audu danced for joy like a dog hopping on his hind legs on being tossed a fat, juicy bone from his owner’s plate.

When the sun was high up in the sky, the two set out to market to invest the money.

At the market, they met a merchant, who everyone swore was honest. He promised to give them twice the amount of money in two days. On hearing that, elation wracked them to the core and they thought they’d die of happiness. They left the market feeling fulfilled.

On getting home, they celebrated their good fortune until twilight came.

Despite the flickering light of the lantern, darkness had the upper hand thus leaving the room in semi-darkness.

In the dimness of their hut, they saw a figure standing at the threshold.

Shock left them paralysed and all they could do was stare with their mouths agape.

“Ike!” They screamed like he were an apparition.

Without acknowledging their greetings, or whatever that scream was, Ike asked, “Ade, where is the money I left in your care?”

Ade stuttered, “It’s not here. Audu asked me to take it to the market so we could invest it. We invested it and the merchant told us to come for double the amount tomorrow.”

“Argh!” Ike screamed in fury. “I asked you not to touch the money and this is what you did?”

Launching into a spiel, he told them how he knew Ade would betray him but wanted to test him to be sure that his mind was fooling with him.

But, if Ike knew his brother was going to disobey him, why did he leave the money with him? He could have taken it to the bank in the market. He could have left it at home- none of them stole anything. Still, he could have taken it to the merchants like he did before. If he knew his brother would betray him, why did he have to test him?

I like to imagine it was the same way God planted the Tree of Knowledge and knew Adam and Eve would take a bite of the tree. I mean, “Alpha and Omega; knows the beginning from the end.”

Adam and Eve. Photo Credit:

As a child in Sunday school, I wondered why God would call plant the tree if he knew it would bring sin into the world?

If the tree was that bad, why did he plant it at a “strategic” location within their reach? Talk about criminal inducement.

And I don’t understand the after drama of looking for Adam in the garden. He obviously knew where they were; why was he searching high and low?

If I were to process this, I’d say he planned that Adam and Eve eat of the fruit.

In other words, He planned for Jesus to die from the onset. Bad Dad? Well, we should have figured that the moment He asked Abraham to kill his son, Isaac. Let’s not talk about God’s sadistic proclivities. I’d fly off the handle.

What can I say? We’ll never understand the God of the Israelites. The Israelites of old that revelled in murder and pillaging and slave trade and raping everything and other dark deeds.

A question: “Why did God create the Tree of Knowledge if He knew Adam and Eve would eat out of it?”

Like, really? Why plant the tree of Knowledge where Adam and Eve would see it?

This is not me insinuating that God brought sin into the world.


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