#BreakTheChainsAndBeHappy2017

To be truly happy in society, one has to liberate himself/herself from the chains society has wrapped around him/her wrapped. While writing April 1st, a thought came to me: “Caring about an irrelevant person’s opinion of you makes you a prisoner to their thoughts”. Truly, stop caring about what random, irrelevant people think of you.
Image result for carefree black girl imagesIn a world where people are more interested in appearances, honesty is not seductive.

Being truthful about one’s self can garner one enemies faster than a corrupt Nigerian politician stashing money in a Ghana-Must-Go. In most cases, one has to place appearance above personal happiness. This explains why Nigerian women don’t leave abusive marriage relationships. They are plagued with, “What would people think?” They haven’t started thinking, but the woman keeps fretting. Sad!

People, by default, are judgmental. They need to judge other people to feel better about themselves. There are bitter people, too – they can’t be happy about another person’s happiness. Oh! And those stupid people that think one is competing with them when all one is simply doing his/her own thing. These are the kind of people to avoid.

Life makes sense when you stop looking at other people. Honestly, there is this bliss you feel the moment you stop caring about what people think of you. Let them say whatever! Were you to be the opposite of yourself, people would still talk about you. No one should live his/her life with the nagging fear of what random, irrelevant people would think.

Another thing is this: No one should tweak themselves to fit into certain ideals. Some people would say, “You were born into a society, it is expected you conform…” Who says we all have to conform? There will be variation!

Society is meant to preserve us, but does it? Au contraire, it hurts most of us that deviate from its expectations. Deviance could be positive, it could be negative. In a bid to achieve the full expression of one’s self, individuality, one has high tendencies of becoming a deviant. This makes me wonder, “Why is individuality a threat to society? Why can’t people understand there is bound to be variation?”

Forcing a person to conform to certain standards without taking into cognisance the person is different can lead to several mental issues. An example is an introvert living in a society that places emphasis on extroversion. There would be a clash between his/her real self and ideal self. Oh! Coercing someone into conformity can boil up resentment, too. Nevertheless, society doesn’t care about your happiness. (Never forget that.) Hence, people that are daring enough to seek happiness are tagged as selfish.

In summary, do you! Do your thing!

Be happy.

Make choices that won’t hurt other people. If they can’t cope, they should go fuck themselves in the ass sans lube. Your happiness is important. Put you first, because no one is going to put you first.

Don’t compare yourself with/to people – you might end up being miserable. Everyone has their time. Every good thing will come to you ultimately.

Don’t compete with people – you are not on the same level with anyone. You are running your own race.

Don’t imagine someone is competing with you – that is a sign of you feeling insecure.

Forget what anyone is going to say and fucking do you!

Cuss if you must.

Cry if you must.

Feel whatever.

Love whomever – forget labels and be with whomever makes you happy. Happiness is out there – go and fucking grab it!

Avoid every relationship that hurts you emotionally, sexually, physically, socially, and spiritually. You don’t have to love an abusive family member… for the sake of your mental health. If they won’t stop being abusive, avoid them.

We are at the threshold of 2017 and all I have to say is, “Break the chains society has put around you. Dare yourself to be happy. Be happy and fulfilled – just don’t harm another person.”

Live! DON’T JUST EXIST!

 

 

 

Published by

Cisi Eze

Cisi Eze works as a freelance writer, copywriter, journalist, and comic artist. Most of her works centre mental health, feminism, and gender issues. Her works can be found on platforms such as Academy of Medical-Surgical Nurses, African Women in Media, Signal Horizon, Bloody Women, LAPP – The Brand, Gender IT , SOLRAD Magazine, to name a few. She has contributed to anthologies – Exhale: Queer African Erotic Fiction, Edge: A Killer Thriller Anthology, among others. Her first book is titled, “Of Women, Edges, and Parks” (2019). You can reach her at cisi_eze@yahoo.com.

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