Dear Christian God,
You know we have a relationship that no one understands. No one has to be privy to what’s going on between us. You see, I’m exasperated with many things I see and hear in the world that you created. They say you’ll question us on the last day but then, I have some questions for you. You might not answer me now. Maybe you’ll give me answers on the day you judge me. Nevertheless, I’ll ask these questions.
To start with, you’re omnipotent. They say you can do the unthinkable and impossible. I know you can. You are God. If so, why didn’t you let all of us, your creation, have the same opinion of you? Why didn’t you make us all practice one religion? You realise that one of the problems we’re faced with in the world stems from religion. Why haven’t you caused us to worship you the same way? Is it that you deliberately want to cause discord among us? You realise that this discord has caused bloodshed in the past. Why haven’t you made all of mankind Christians if Jesus Christ, your son, is the only way to salvation? Will you be pleased if your other creations that practice other religions go to hell? Let’s be honest: will you really condemn a good, just, and upright Buddhist to hell just because he/she doesn’t believe in Jesus? After all the penances, he/she will go to hell? Is that it?
My next question is this: “Why do you allow evil to thrive?” What do you aim to accomplish? You want more glory? Aren’t there other ways to get glory than cause someone to be miserable? It’s like you make bad things happen to people in order for them to turn to you. If you were human, I’d say you were an attention-seeking sadist. That makes you malevolent. Epicurus said if you’re omnipotent yet allow evil to thrive, you’re malevolent. Malevolence makes you evil, doesn’t it? In the story of Job, you allowed the devil torment Job. It made it look like you need the devil to do the dirty job for you. I don’t want to believe that you’re evil. I know you are a loving Father.
God, there’s another thing that baffles me: your relationship with your chosen people, the Israelites. Among all your creations, you just chose them because…? I’m waiting for your reply on that. That isn’t the confuzzling part, though. How come you let all those bad things happen to them? It seemed you enjoyed their misery, I must confess. First, you allowed them to be slaves to the Egyptians. You delivered them from slavery by showing yourself; you wrought miracles and wonders. It’s like you deliberately instilled fear in them so that they don’t stray from you. You said you’re jealous God. Let me get something straight. You love this people. You never want them to part from you. So, you bring adversity their way in order to keep them in line. Really? Doesn’t that come across to you as emotional blackmail? Even after their sad years in Egypt, you allowed them to be captured at different times. The meanest of them, I think, was their ordeal during the Holocaust. Why did you allow that? Glory? Fame? It couldn’t be for glory. Many wars had been fought in your name. Why did you allow that to happen to them? With a wave of your hand, Hitler could have died in infancy or as a teenager. Yet, you allowed him to persecute your chosen people. It’s like you deserted themthe moment they needed you most. It’s like you stabbed them in the back.
Another question that nags me is this: “Do you take delight in seeing your creation confused?” There are many religions out there trying to find you. Each thinks they are the only way to you. One religion thinks you are a single dad. The other thinks you don’t even have a child. Why not clarify our dilemma? Does it tickle you when you see your handwork in confusion? If you were a human, I’d assume you were being a coquet. You just want us to court your attention. You seem like a woman with different suitors. You know they are vying for your attention. What do you do? You put them up against each other.
Talking about attention, why do you need to be praised? Only insecurity makes people fish for compliments. Are you insecure? Demanding praise makes it seem as though you’re an attention-seeking, insecure being. I know you’re not like that. I guess humans don’t really understand you. You’re not insecure. You can’t be! You created the universe and all therein. We can tell you a simple “Thank You” in the quiescence of our hearts. Of course, you’d hear us. You know you are all-knowing and present in everywhere. You know what we want before we ask for it. Yet, one of the holy books about your laws and dictates says we should ask. Why should we ask when you know what we already want? They say you need us to state what we want. They say that you need us to ask for it so that when we get it, we’ll deal with the consequences. If you know it’s going to be bad for us, there’ll no point allowing us to waste out time in asking for it.
Dear God, I need to understand what happened in the Garden of Eden. You created Adam and Eve and put them in the Garden. You asked them to eat everything but not the fruit in the middle of the garden. I assume you know everything before it happens. If you knew that they were going to eat the forbidden fruit, why did you make it in the first place. If you knew they were going to eat it, why were you livid when they ate the fruit? Were you acting? From the look of things, it seemed as though you planned they were going to eat the fruit, then you’d send them packing out of the garden. You also planned that your son was going to come and die for our sins. Why would you put him through all that stress? To what end? What were you trying to prove? What exactly? Is it that the people that wrote the creation story lied?
Are you still angry about the Tower of Babel incident? I don’t think so. My reason is that you know the end from the beginning. You’d have seen that in the 21st century, mankind would erect tall buildings almost reaching the heavens. But, you haven’t done anything about it. Should I assume that Tower of Babel shenanigan didn’t happen? Was it some allegory? Should I assume that many things written in the holy book are mere allegories? Should I assume that in a bid for people to explain you, they came up with allegories and myths with the name “Religion” attached to it? Would it be safe for me to assume that our thought energies through the millennia brought you into existence?
Nowadays, people hurt people. Why do you allow that? Why not stop the suffering? Why not let evil doers repent before they do evil? Why condemn them to eternal damnation? I thought that you loved your creation? This is not a loving thing to do, you agree, right?
God, I think there is a mistake somewhere. However, the mistake is not from you. I think people that have tried to understand you have given us flawed descriptions of you. They have made you out to be a sadistic, attention-seeking, narcissistic, insecure, maniacal, back-stabbing, histrionic, and drama-loving being. I know you’re not like that. You’re loving and compassionate. Benevolent and just. I know you’re not malevolent. I know you care for your creation. I know you don’t want your creation to suffer unjustly. But, do I really know you?
Honestly, I’m confused. Hence, I asked these questions. I need answers. Whenever you answer, it’s okay. I feel better asking you these questions.
P.S. I had written this sometime in 2015, but I felt I should share it here. Without editing it.