What Makes Sense Is Not Always Valid

We are different people, with different dreams, different desires, different … everything. There is no one shoe size that fits everyone. In understanding we are not the same, we make space for others to exude their “madness”. (“Madness” because what they choose to do does not make sense, but it is valid to them and their experience.)

Because we are different people, it is expected that different things would appeal to our logic.

There are several things I consider really dumb such as getting emotionally worked up over the outcome of 22 grown-ass men chasing after an inanimate object in a wide expanse of field. (Except you placed a bet on the football match and you’re scared of losing your money.) That this does not make sense to me does not invalidate everything about football and the sentiments attached to it.

Same way me choosing a weekend to binge-watch cartoons would not make sense to so many people.

To a large extent, Society determines what makes sense. Behaviour that does conform with consensus is considered crazy.

Occasionally, I catch myself wondering: “What does that make me if other people in a messed-up society validate my choices and consider me a conforming member of that society? Does that not make me messy in a way?”

As Rita Mae Brown put it, “The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.” It is okay for people to invalidate your sensible life choices.

The point is this: indulge in the things that make you feel good about yourself if you are not harming anyone. It does not have to make sense to people. You are doing it for you. Your choices should make sense to you and you alone.

The Chill Zone, Because… Hush!

People’s insanity will not make us question our sanity. Yes, the world is messy, but you can find serenity and balance through it all… if you so wish.

Earth is ghetto!

You should see these people

It’s hard to believe

How they treat each-other

It’s hard to conceive

Aliah Sheffield didn’t lie.

The Intergalactic Confederation is possibly disgusted at this planet, and I’m still dazed that they have not destroyed us in a “cataclysmic event.” They’ll be like, “Ugh! Let’s just cancel this planet and start afresh like we did before. Instead of flooding them like before, we should cause an earthquake. All in support, say aye!”

You know, some people wake in the morning and choose violence. Wittingly or unwittingly. But we are not those people, because through all the madness around us, we will deliberately choose harmony and serenity. Sometime in January this year, I started this thing where I’d wake up and tell myself, “Today, I choose harmony.” In a weird way, the situations injecting disharmony in my life fell off.

Choosing harmony made me practice silence. I realised not everything demanded my “amazing” two cents. I could simply just shut the fuck up. I know silence in the face of oppression makes you complicit, but what do you do when talking is not working? You have an idea of how the world should be, but the world stays messy: watchu gon’ do? Remember Socrates? And Jesus? And Martin Luther King jr? World People killed them. Nowadays, they don’t physically kill you, per se: they drive you muy loco!

You can’t sweep the whole street; however, you can take care of your backyard and front lawn, and focus on the beauty inside your living space. The world will always be messy, even after you die. Yea, one day, you’ll not wake in your body. Tee-hee-hee! Depressing, I know, but it be what it be, Beloved.

Choose harmony; be intentional about it. You may be unable to create world order and peace, but you can maintain the order and peace in your life.

P.S. Still in January, I be like, “Just gon’ keep my thoughts to myself for six months, let me see what happens. No blog posts. No social media posts. Nada.” Ding-ding! Our cute rock kept spinning in space. Might as well write another post on this: “Elements of Silence”? “What Is Your Why for Talking”? I’ll figure an elegant title, eventually.

A Play: A Priest and Scientist Sit at a Bar

(I promise this play is nothing like the Theatre of the Absurd, a la Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot” (1952). I like to think this is less complicated. This play takes place in a cafe: La Monde. It is one scene about how a catholic priest and scientist can’t bring themselves to be on the same page. There are other characters who get a bit interested in their seemingly futile conversation. Please, read with an open mind. Very necessary.) Continue reading A Play: A Priest and Scientist Sit at a Bar

On Coping with Loss

(This post is an excerpt from my journal entry on June 10, 2019. I thought to share, because why not?)

When it comes to loss and grief, different people cope differently. We must find our own way(s) of coping via trial and error. And the manner of coping should not come from the ego’s desire to defend itself from pain. Ego defense devices are toxic, as they come from an illusion – the ego. Continue reading On Coping with Loss

[Short Story] Because of George.

November, 1990.

Agbor, Bendel State, Nigeria.

Nne Ndidi stared at the pulpit as the blond, bulky priest preached with his nasalized tenor. How his conscience allowed him to injure people with his ear-grating voice was beyond her. She was tired of him. How did anyone understand the spri-spri-spri he was rapidly spitting? If only a Nigerian who spoke Ika, or even central Igbo, could replace him!

She blinked her eyes, as though sending God a Morse Code for the priest’s immediate replacement. Continue reading [Short Story] Because of George.

Cherry-Picking Your Reality Is Possible!

(Before you commence reading this, I recommend you take relaxing breaths. Inhale for four seconds; hold for one second; gently exhale with your mouth for five seconds; hold for two seconds. As you exhale, allow your muscles to relax. Repeat this five times, or more if you desire. This would calm your mind. And try to forget the things you “know” as your mind engages with what you are about to read.) Continue reading Cherry-Picking Your Reality Is Possible!

What Fairy Tales Did Not Tell Us

All cultures have fairy tales, far-out stories that cannot happen in real life. These stories seek to throw light on different aspects of the society from which they originate. Where religion uses tall tales/myths to explore a culture’s idea of divinity, fairy tales uncover and explain different parts of the psyche. (Archetypal psychology talks more about this.)

In most fairy tales, the protagonist is the hero of the story, which is not always the case in real life. In real life, there are times you play the villain, or anti-hero, in your own story. (The protagonist is the leading character. Villain is “evil character.”) You don’t always have to be the good person in your story, y’know?

Remembering Joan of Arc, The Gender-Bending Woman Warrior Who ...
Joan of Arc was the protagonist of her story. But the men who killed her painted her a villain.

At times, good and evil is a matter of context. At times. But fairy tales did not tell us this and many other things highlighted below: Continue reading What Fairy Tales Did Not Tell Us

Avoiding the Age of Stagnation

“Your age of stagnation is whenever you stop growing. For most people, its when they get married, settle into a routine. You meet someone who loves you unconditionally and never challenges you, or wants you to change. Then you never change.” – Kelsey Jannings in Bojack Horseman.

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Continue reading Avoiding the Age of Stagnation

Three Easy Steps to Conquering Procrastination

Image result for meme of procrastination

Once upon a time, while journaling, I asked myself, “What is that thing I want to do less of and how do I make it happen?” “Procrastinating,” I wrote. And I came up with three easy ways to reduce its occurrence in my life. Here goes: Continue reading Three Easy Steps to Conquering Procrastination

Ten Tips on How to Mind Your Business

Minding my business is one of the many ways I love (and care for) myself. 2019 was the best year of the last decade for me. I couldn’t even believe that I’d be in the space I was in. Truth is I had to put in work, and a huge chunk of it centered on mindin’ ma gaddem bidness.

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My 2019 in one meme.

Continue reading Ten Tips on How to Mind Your Business