SEXUALITY

The Hustle of Studs, Stemmes, and Femmes (3): Stemmes

Just when you thought the people of the world would not narrow your transcendent self via labels and labeling, they came up with “stemme”. First time I heard the word, I was like:

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“What the flying fuck?!!”

Continue reading “The Hustle of Studs, Stemmes, and Femmes (3): Stemmes”

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SEXUALITY

What to Do When You Have a Girl Crush (For Women, Of Course)

As a public service, I have decided to write this.

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“Oh, my God! Cisi, you won’t believe who talked to me today?” My friend literally screamed at me, as though she was screaming at someone about to disembowel her. Such a fucking drama queen.

In a dry tone, and a forced smile threatening to tear my face into two unequal halves, I asked, “Who?” I might have hooted.

And that was how this friend of mine launched into a one-million-word spiel about a woman she met. Eventually, she asked, “Do you think she likes me? I like her lots.” Continue reading “What to Do When You Have a Girl Crush (For Women, Of Course)”

HUMOUR, SEXUALITY

Types of Lesbians

(Authors Note: Please, this is not a witch hunt. )

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Like vodka, lesbians come in different flavours. One day, it crossed my mind to write about different types of lesbians. This is a guide – yes, see it as a guide – to understand what you feel you should understand. Here goes: Continue reading “Types of Lesbians”

HUMOUR, SEXUALITY

The Hustle of Studs, Stemmes, and Femmes (1): Femmes

(If you are reading this, I assume you know what these words – stud, stemme, and femme – mean.)

Being femme is not just about appearance, it is behavioural, too. Femmes embrace almost everything feminine as defined by patriarchy – all those heteronormative attributes: soft, gentle, sweet. A typical stud is easily drawn to femmes. Like moth and light. But there are buts, because some femmes do not want anything romantic to do with studs. They be like, “It would be too obvious that we are dating.”

Continue reading “The Hustle of Studs, Stemmes, and Femmes (1): Femmes”

SEXUALITY

For Prejudiced People…

I had put this up on Facebook; however, after looking at it, I decided to put it here. (Chuckles) I have to put this meanness on record. I’m starting 2017 on a shady-ass note. Uh-hmmm… Here is for those prejudiced ass-fucking-holes. Those mo’fuckers that won’t stick their noses in their businesses.

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I was on my own, sipping vodka, and of course, minding my business when breeze blew someone from my past into my present o. (This Whatsapp is a problem.) Continue reading “For Prejudiced People…”

MUSING, SEXUALITY

A Dildo Can’t Do Some Things; Maybe That’s Why He Made Men.

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I read across somewhere: “Vibrators can’t lift heavy stuff and so, God decided to make men.” Something like that. When you give it critical thought, most of us, women, don’t need men.

It’s so comical when men think we actually need them. I think men are just misinformed on that particular issue. Very misinformed.

A typical man thinks he’s heaven’s gift to women. That is ludicrous and laughable. And when you “talk too much”, they say, “when you are single in your 40s…”

Continue reading “A Dildo Can’t Do Some Things; Maybe That’s Why He Made Men.”