Why Humans Are Necrophiles

At times, we “fall in love” with a person, and in our eyes they can do no wrong. Soon, we have sex with them, and in the aftermath of the fuckery, the rose-tinted lenses through which we saw them fall off our eyes. We start seeing their true colours, they become unbearable to us, and two seconds later, we break up with them. It would seem as though the tea got spilled after we fucked it (whatever “it” is) out of our systems.

Have you noticed how people get more love when they are dead? It is like death makes us see them in a new light. Why do we wait until people pass before we show them we appreciate them? Is it that we only love them dead?

Liking People VS Loving People

For me, loving a person means I will not hurt them deliberately. It also means I get to be kind to them, not speak ill of them in their absence, and wish them good things.  That I can love them means I have enough love inside me. From this deep well of love within me, I am able to share with every sentient being.

Based on this, I probably love venomous snakes. Uh-oh…

On Addiction: The Insidious Things That Count As Addiction

Alcohol and drugs easily come to mind when we think of addiction. But many things out there are addictive.

And that is the tea!

One could be addicted to something considered healthy like running. “I’m not complete if I’ve not gone for a run in the morning.” Oh, shut up, Alice! No one asked you.

The Unfortunate Nature of Human Existence

The title I had in mind at first was “The Fucked-Up Nature of the Human Situation”. I promise this post is not depressing to read. But then…

When you think of it, being in this human form is all shades of messed up for several reasons. Nevertheless, I have decided to share seven reasons here. As you read through, other reasons might dawn on you.

Nightclubs Suck! (Why Night Clubs Are Problématique As Fuck)

For someone who has been to a nightclub once (I am not counting the day I went to a karaoke/club/bar and ended up getting lap dances from annoyingly sweaty women), I have a lot to say about nightclubs.

The Hustle of Studs, Stemmes, and Femmes (3): Stemmes

Just when you thought the people of the world would not narrow your transcendent self via labels and labeling, they came up with “stemme”. First time I heard the word, I was like:

“What the flying fuck?!!”

When I Become an Agony Aunt for Queer Women

The concept of being an agony aunt is delightful! Ah! Thinking of the bad advice I will dish out is making me tingly in the right, and wrong, places.

1. Dear Cisi,

Ever since my hubby discovered I have a girlfriend, he has been threatening to ruin my life. I am pissed. What do I do? – Tricia.

Hi, Tricia!
Sweetheart, dead people can’t threaten you, because they can’t talk. Let your anger guide you, boo.

What to Do When You Have a Girl Crush (For Women, Of Course)

As a public service, I have decided to write this.

“Oh, my God! Cisi, you won’t believe who talked to me today?” My friend literally screamed at me, as though she was screaming at someone about to disembowel her. Such a fucking drama queen.

In a dry tone, and a forced smile threatening to tear my face into two unequal halves, I asked, “Who?” I might have hooted.

And that was how this friend of mine launched into a one-million-word spiel about a woman she met. Eventually, she asked, “Do you think she likes me? I like her lots.”

Types of People in a Facebook or Whatsapp Groupie

Ah! A social media groupie could be an awful delight – it is awful; it is delightful. You probably belong to one.  Different sorts of people make up a groupie. Here they are:

1. The IDGAFs ( I Don’t Give A Fuck)

These are the people you call “ghosts”. They are like monitoring spirits. They are probably not reading the messages in the group. Or maybe they are, but they just do not give a flying fuck. The despicable fuckers!

Fuck Girl Starter Kit

So my friend, Bunmi, and I got talking about “The Fuck Girl Starter Kit”, and I we came up with points to make you the fuck girl other fuck girls look up to.

Here they are: