When I Become an Agony Aunt for Queer Women

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The concept of being an agony aunt is delightful! Ah! Thinking of the bad advice I will dish out is making me tingly in the right, and wrong, places.

  1. Dear Cisi,

Ever since my hubby discovered I have a girlfriend, he has been threatening to ruin my life. I am pissed. What do I do? – Tricia.

Hi, Tricia!
Sweetheart, dead people can’t threaten you, because they can’t talk. Let your anger guide you, boo. Continue reading

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Types of People in a Facebook or Whatsapp Groupie

Ah! A social media groupie could be an awful delight – it is awful; it is delightful. You probably belong to one.  Different sorts of people make up a groupie. Here they are:

  1. The IDGAFs ( I Don’t Give A Fuck)

These are the people you call “ghosts”. They are like monitoring spirits. They are probably not reading the messages in the group. Or maybe they are, but they just do not give a flying fuck. The despicable fuckers!

Image result for gif of fuckers Continue reading

The Hustle of Studs, Stemmes, and Femmes (2): Studs

This one is for studs. (I heard the difference between “stud” and “butch” is race.) I assume you already know what it means to be stud or butch. Here are the hustles listed below.

  1. “I can’t draw gen. We’ll have to wait for her to come over.” Your girlfriend and other girl friends believe you are some sort of handyman. Just when you thought y’all were all women. Why is life so hard?
    Image result for meme of surprised black woman

    “I am scandalised!”

    Continue reading

The Hustle of Studs, Stemmes, and Femmes (1): Femmes

(If you are reading this, I assume you know what these words – stud, stemme, and femme – mean.)

Being femme is not just about appearance, it is behavioural, too. Femmes embrace almost everything feminine as defined by patriarchy – all those heteronormative attributes: soft, gentle, sweet. A typical stud is easily drawn to femmes. Like moth and light. But there are buts, because some femmes do not want anything romantic to do with studs. They be like, “It would be too obvious that we are dating.”

Continue reading